The Hardcover Edition of Castle Digest
by NikolitaNiko
Summary: A series of Castle oneshots. All are AU. Please read the details for each chapter, as ratings will vary.
1. Once and Again

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Castle or anything from the series. The characters and everything else belongs to Andrew Marlowe.**

**A/N: These oneshots are all AUs of one variety or another. AUs also might mean that there's some OOC-ness, although I'll try to keep it very limited. Thoughts are in italics. **

****Please read the warnings/ratings at the top of each oneshot, as it might vary from chapter to chapter!** (The default for this fic as a whole will be T, until if/when I add some mature chapters, in which case the overall rating will be bumped to M.)**

**My apologies for any mistakes, this is unbeta'd. Especially since I've never written in this POV/tense before and I'm not sure how well it works.**

. . . . .

_Rating for this chapter: T_

_Note: This AU starts off in between Castle's marriages. So in the beginning he's divorced from Meredith, but hasn't married Gina yet._

. . . . .

Sirens wail as Kate watches the suspect being put into the back of the police cruiser. She knows that she should be there with the rest of the officers helping to transfer the suspect to the precinct, but she was just on the front line of a hostage situation and she feels that it's ok for her to step back for a minute. Someone else will take care of his sorry ass.

She is relishing her momentary breather when she hears someone walk up behind her. Kate is not overly surprised to see that it is Richard Castle, the thorn in her side from the last few days.

They are saying their good-byes when he feeds her a couple of lines of going out for dinner together. Kate is flattered by his proposition, though she'd never admit it, and she bites her lip as she thinks before deciding to accept his offer. The happy expression which lights up his face upon hearing her decision makes her glad that she said yes. He gives her the name of a fancy Greek restaurant he's been dying to try, and Kate agrees because she loves Greek food. With a huge smile on his face, Castle shakes her hand and says he'll be by to pick her up at six o'clock that evening. They part and head back to their respective worlds, both earnestly awaiting their dinner later that evening.

. . .

As Kate hopes, they have a wonderful evening together. Castle is, when he's not tagging along at work, not the pain in the ass he'd proved himself to be during the case.

She still hasn't been able to completely wrap her head around the fact that her favourite author had asked _her_ out to dinner, so she is just enjoying the evening for what it is – two adults sharing a meal. They trade smiles over their dinner, sipping wine and laughing over amusing stories they share from their respective pasts. As Kate has suspected, Richard Castle is something of a womanizer, and his many years in the spotlight have not only taught him many valuable life lessons, but have also resulted in many humorous adventures for the writer. Kate's tales hark mostly back to her years in university, and Castle finds he can't get enough of her stories.

When the bill finally arrives, Castle whisks it out of Kate's reach before she can protest. He's paying, he insists, because the restaurant was his idea and he wants to treat her. Kate huffs, but relents and lets him pay. He holds the door open for her as they leave the restaurant, ever the perfect gentleman, and Kate finds that she enjoys being a man's centre of attention. She's had boyfriends before, but most didn't put on airs for her the way Castle was for her now. She could get used to this.

. . .

After dinner Castle offers to take her dancing, but she declines, reminding him of their long day; Castle is surprising her with his seemingly endless amounts of energy, but she's reaching her limit for the night. So Castle directs the limo to take her home, and they enjoy a quiet ride back to her apartment. Kate has a suspicion how their evening might end, but isn't about her to get her hopes up. She plans to play her cards close to her chest and just see where the chips fall.

When they arrive at her building, Castle gets out first and holds his hand out for her. Her writer in shining armour, she teases, and he just smiles back. He holds her hand as they walk up to her front door, not wanting to let go any sooner than he has to.

When they turn to say their good nights at the door, Kate overrides the awkward moment by inviting him inside. Castle looks pleasantly surprised, but he accepts and she lets him in. They ride the elevator up to her apartment in silence, each sneaking not-so-subtle glances at the other. They get off on her floor and Kate lets him into her apartment slowly, trying to remember if she left it in a mess when she headed to work that morning. Thankfully it is relatively tidy, and Kate relaxes a little. She moves to hang her jacket in the hallway closet, leaving Castle to explore her apartment.

Kate is in the kitchen pulling out a couple of glasses for them when he comes up behind her and puts his hands on her waist. She tenses momentarily before turning to face him, unsure of what his intentions are. He's right in her personal space, whispering about how beautiful she is as he takes the glassware from her hands and places it on the counter. Castle's head dips towards hers, and Kate's eyes fall shut as she meets him halfway. With a soft sigh, she leans into his kisses as he pushes her against the counter. Hands touch and fingers caress as they stumble from the kitchen to the living room, neither willing to separate long enough to make it to the bedroom. Kate pushes him onto her couch and straddles his lap as she pulls her shirt up and over her head. Castle starts to say something before she interrupts him with another kiss, and then nothing more is said.

. . . . .

The sun is barely peeking over the horizon when the alarm on Kate's phone starts buzzing. She untangles herself from Castle's embrace long enough to reach over and shut it off, then settles back into bed. She watches his chest rise and fall under the covers, and she decides to take pity on him and let him sleep while she gets ready for work. It's not until she's heading into the bathroom for her morning shower that Kate sees him stir and start to waken. She catches his eye and gives him a small smile before shutting the bathroom door.

When she gets out of her shower, she can smell something delicious coming from the kitchen. She makes a beeline for the coffeemaker, only to see that Castle has a fresh pot already waiting for her. He's also making her scrambled eggs, something Kate hasn't had in awhile; usually she just has coffee for breakfast. She shows her appreciation with a few gentle kisses, which he returns, and then they sit down for breakfast together in her kitchen.

It is not long after that when Kate has to leave for work. Castle is reluctant to leave her, but knows he should head home and try to see his daughter before she leaves for school. As they leave Kate's apartment and she locks the front door behind them, Castle thanks her for having him over and letting him stay the night. Kate merely nods, and together they make their way downstairs. Just before they part ways outside her building, Castle gives her one more kiss and promises to call. He leaves in a taxi, and he's not even out of sight before Kate realizes how much she's looking forward to seeing him again. Richard Castle is a famous author, a playboy and a flirt, but he is also so much more, something Kate now knows firsthand. She already can't wait for him to call her.

. . . . .

Several days pass and when Kate still hasn't heard from Castle, she decides to be the one to break the ice. She's had his number since they first started working together, so during one of her breaks at work she calls his cellphone.

It rings several times before a woman answers. Kate is surprised and stammers out a mumbled greeting. Before she can explain who she is, the woman on the phone cuts her off, telling her that Richard Castle is in the middle of a book signing and not to be interrupted. Kate tries to explain the situation, but the aggressive woman on the other end of the line labels her a groupie and tells her not to call Castle's number again before hanging up.

Kate stares at the receiver in her hand. Who was that? And where does she get the nerve to be so rude to someone she's never met! Replacing the phone in its cradle, Kate scolds herself for thinking that maybe she had meant something to the famous author. As she heads back to her desk to resume working on her case, she shores up her walls up a little higher and reinforces their strength. Kate Beckett didn't make the same mistakes twice.

. . . . .

She doesn't see Richard Castle again after that. She is still not sure why he never called her back, but after that phone call with the still-unknown woman, Kate is not about to risk calling him again. If he really wants to see her again, he'll call her.

The weeks pass, and one day she happens to glance at an open newspaper in the break room while she's making herself a coffee. It's been left open at the entertainment section, and Kate almost drops her coffee cup when she sees that front and centre on the page is a picture of Richard Castle with a woman who is apparently his new wife._ 'Richard Castle Marries Publicist' _proclaims the headline. Kate can't bring herself to read the article itself, but she stares at the picture longer than she cares to admit. His new wife is blonde, slender and gorgeous, and they stare at each other with matching expressions of love. They look happy together. Kate's walls crack a little as she is reminded yet again of the night they shared.

She hurries out of the break room, determined to forget what she just saw. The little voice at the back of her mind whispers that she won't forget.

. . . . .

Months pass, and then years. Kate has learned to forgive Richard Castle for what happened between them, but she has never really forgotten. He is still writing best-selling books, and she continues to buy them. She logs onto his website occasionally and browses the forum boards, discussing his novels behind the screen of anonymity. Kate has never told anyone about her night with Castle, and she doesn't plan to. If he never goes public with it, then it will be her secret to keep.

One morning while on her way to work, Kate hears on her patrol car radio that Castle has gotten divorced from his second wife. Kate's heart clenches as a myriad of emotions rush through her. She shoves it all back down, locks it away once more. She has a job to do and Castle is no longer a part of her life.

It's not long after that when she comes in to work and sees her captain talking to someone in his office. Kate wonders if a high profile case has just broke open on their laps, but she knows he will come explain the situation to her when he's done. Ryan and Esposito arrive at the precinct and together they debrief each other on the case they just closed.

Kate is in the middle of describing the take-down for the boys, who hadn't been present at the time it happened, when they suddenly fall silent. She looks confused and it takes a moment before she realizes that a figure has come to stand beside her desk. Turning her head, she turns to see who the stranger is.

Vibrant blue locks with brilliant green as Richard Castle and Kate Beckett meet once again.

. . . . .

**A/N: Sorry again for any OOC-ness. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading!**


	2. Terminal

**A/N: This AU has no specific timeline in mine except that it's several years in the future compared to where the series is now. Any mistakes in the legal technicalities are my own. Meredith and Jim Beckett are not present in this AU.**

****Also, major warning for angst and character death for this chapter.** Please read at your own discretion. Trigger warning for loss associated with cancer and genetic conditions.**

**Inspiration for this fic came from the fic "Tears of an Angel" by all-the-songs-make-sense on Tumblr. As always, this is not intended to be a copycat. Additional inspiration came from the song "Star" by Bryan Adams, which was used in the credits of the ****1996 film "Jack"****.**

**Rating for this chapter: T**

. . . . .

_What cha wanna be - when you grow up?__  
><em>_What cha gonna do - when your time is up?__  
><em>_What cha gonna say - when things go wrong?__  
><em>_What cha wanna do - when you're on your own?_

. . . . .

The relentless beeping of the vitals monitor made Richard Castle simultaneously want to cry and scream. Each beep, each blip on the electronic screen was a miracle in and of itself, but he didn't know how much longer he could sit at the bedside of... He couldn't even bring himself to think of this hollow reminder of who she used to be as his one and only.

Rick took her fragile hand and held it gently between his own large ones. He watched her face for any sort of sign, any reaction that her spirit was still with them. Her monitors continued beeping, but Rick knew they could be deceiving. Machines and technology could keep people alive long after their essence was gone. After_ she_ was gone.

From behind him, Rick could hear a figure approach and then stop in the doorway. He knew without asking who it was.

"How is she?" Her question seemed to echo in the room's deathly silence, save for the steady beeping of the machines working to keep their patient alive.

Rick swiped at his eyes with the back of one hand, trying to scrub away the tears that he knew would return momentarily. He felt like he hadn't stopped crying since they'd first received news of _"the illness"_ as he'd come to think of it.

"She's... she's not good," he said in a rush, expelling the words as if they were poison. "The doctors said she doesn't have much longer-" His voice broke and he bowed his head onto the hospital bed, fresh tears running down his cheeks as his body shook with his suppressed cries.

Kate Beckett approached his side quickly, murmuring words of sympathy and support as she slid an arm across his shoulders and pulled him towards her gently. She was not surprised when he reached an arm around her legs and fisted his hand in her jeans. She could do nothing more than try to keep her own tears at bay as she tried to be as strong as possible for her husband. It was their daughter lying still on the bed, but it was his _child_ who had been dealt this twisted fate.

"Is... is she any pain?" Kate managed to ask as several tears broke free to trail down her own face. She ran her fingers through Rick's hair, trying to provide what comfort she could.

Rick pressed himself against her legs and shook his head, unable to look at either her or Alexis. "No, no pain," he breathed. "Thank god for small miracles. They said she can't feel anything at this point."

They had both been present two nights earlier when Alexis had last spoken. Her mental condition had deteriorated rapidly in the last three weeks, progressing to the point where Rick had finally admitted Alexis to a private hospital, complete with a personal staff and round-the-clock care. The doctors had warned Kate and Rick that Alexis would probably not know who they were anymore, nor where she was, but the redhead had surprised everyone by recognizing Rick and Kate. _Mommy and Daddy,_ she had called them. _I love you both, so much_. Then her eyes had closed and she had said nothing more since. Talking to her, holding her hands, nothing had provoked a reaction of any kind. On her way back to their hospital room earlier that afternoon, Kate had spoken to one of Alexis' doctors who said that Alexis would probably slip away sometime in the next twelve hours or so.

Kate reached behind Rick and pulled over one of the spare chairs, removing Rick's hand long enough for her to align her chair next to his and sit down. He immediately reached out for her with his spare hand, and she held it tight between both of hers. For a long time, the room was filled with nothing except his muffled sobs and her hushed whispers, and the noises from the medical machines.

Memories from their life together came rushing upon them both in the silence. Their marriage was one of them, celebrated five years earlier on a beautiful spring day. Nineteen year old Alexis had been their maid of honour, as had Lanie, and the boys had been the best men. Everyone agreed that after nearly five years of working together at the precinct, their union was long overdue. The bride and groom had worn the traditional wedding colours, and the maids of honour had looked spectacular in their long satin dresses. Kate smiled sadly as she thought of the framed picture of Alexis and Rick from that day, sitting on a shelf in their living room back home. It was one of Rick's favourites.

Solving Kate's mother's murder had been another wonderful but bittersweet memory from recent years past. Kate had been the one to take him down, and Rick had been right by her side as it happened. New York no longer had the death penalty, so he wasn't going to get the needle, but the entire 12th Precinct had made sure that he was never going to see the light of day again.

They'd also had their share of trials as well. After their wedding, Rick and Kate had tried for a couple of years to get pregnant in the hopes of giving Alexis a brother or sister, with no luck. At one point there'd been a pregnancy that had ended in a miscarriage, and it had been a devastating event for them all. But now with Alexis being terminally sick, Kate wondered if that loss wasn't affecting Rick twice as hard now.

And Martha... Kate almost lost control of her emotions herself, thinking about the loss of the Castle matriarch. Kate missed Martha almost as much as she missed her own mother; after marrying Rick, his mother and Kate had grown quite close. An aggressive case of stomach cancer had claimed Martha's life a year and a half prior, and her passing had been acutely felt by Rick, Alexis, and Kate.

She was so lost in her thoughts, Kate missed Rick's question the first time he asked. He nudged her again and she emerged slowly from her memories. "How did this happen Kate?" His voice was ragged and Kate knew he was close to his breaking point. "Why Alexis? _Why my little girl? Why our daughter?_" He pleaded with her for a logical answer, something he knew she couldn't give but wanted to hear anyways.

Kate pulled her hand back from Rick's and buried her face in her hands as she fought with herself to find the right words to say. "Rick, you know it's not your fault." She spread her hands in a gesture of helplessness, unsure of what else to say. "The doctor's said she was born with this illness, and it didn't awaken until her late teens so there was no indication that anything was wrong when she was younger. There's nothing you or any of us could have to done to stop this." Kate swallowed hard around the lump in her throat. "We had more than twenty years with this amazing young woman. How many parents of children with genetic illnesses can say that?"

"It doesn't make it any easier Kate," Rick bit out, and she hastened to soothe his anger.

"I know that Rick. I know." Kate resumed threading her fingers through his hair, and he closed his eyes as he leaned into her touch. Never for a moment did he let go of Alexis' hand. Kate knew that if it weren't for his body's need to occasionally eat and tend to bodily functions, Rick wouldn't leave Alexis' side at all.

. . . . .

The next few hours passed in a blur. Rick remained at his daughter's bedside, and Kate left only when it was absolutely needed. Medical personnel came and went, checking on Alexis' vitals and updating her parents on what to expect as the night wore on. Kate alternated between trying to support her husband and trying to keep herself from falling apart. In between, she couldn't help but be lost in thoughts of how this had all started.

Within the five years since she and Rick had been married, Kate had watched Alexis go from being a bubbly, shining university student to a scared young woman who'd been confronted with her own mortality. The changes she had been forced to watch Alexis (and Rick) undergo were heartbreaking; some mornings Kate didn't even want to get out of bed. But when she saw Alexis coping with her illness, and Rick right there beside her helping her cope, Kate forced herself to function. She could do it. She had to. Her husband and daughter needed her.

It first started about a year after the wedding when, after a couple of months of noticing Alexis become increasingly clumsy around their apartment and seeming "out of it," Rick had convinced Alexis to book an appointment with her doctor. Additional tests had been ordered at Rick and Kate's urging - '_just in case'_ they'd said. But when the results came back none of them had been expecting to hear what they were told – Alexis had a genetic illness. _Juvenile Variant Huntington's Disease_, the doctor had pronounced. It was terminal.

That day was one of the worst of Kate's life.

For a long time, Alexis didn't get worse. She still had some co-ordination issues, and she still dropped things or bumped into stuff, but that was about it. Then, slowly, her illness started to progress. In the two years after the original diagnosis, Alexis came down with pneumonia three times in six months due to her compromised immune system. She also started losing some control over her bodily movements. Kate and Rick noticed that she tripped more, resulting in a broken leg at one point, and eventually their family decided to encourage Alexis to use a wheelchair so she didn't get hurt like that again. In-home care helped Alexis with the transition from walking to wheels, and Rick was with Alexis as often as he could be; somehow they all adapted to the new changes. It was during this time when Rick had stopped shadowing Kate at the precinct so he could spend more time with Alexis at home. Together they tried to keep her life as normal as possible.

But the last two years had been some of the hardest in Kate's life. Alexis had struggled with chronic depression, and against her parents' wishes, she took legal control of her condition and had a DNR signed. Rick had fought fiercely with her over that piece of paper. _I don't want to be kept alive with machines!_ Alexis had cried. _When it's my time to leave, I want my suffering to end and I want to just _go_. Please don't ask me to postpone the inevitable, Dad!_ Those words had broken his resolve, and he backed down.

In retrospect it was a smart move on Alexis' part to get the document signed when she did, as the last several months had brought increasingly erratic behaviours for their daughter, and she had also become much more forgetful. Her doctor had told Rick and Kate about what to expect, but it was of course very different to see it happen firsthand to someone they loved. The times where Alexis was calm and lucid were treasured as they became fewer and far in between; Kate had taken to recording as many as she could on video so that she and Rick could have happy times to remember after... after Alexis was gone.

. . . . .

Now here they were, five years later, reaching the very end of that long road. Alexis' breathing had started to slow down in the last half hour, and her heartbeat was becoming more erratic. With the permission of their private medical team, Rick had climbed into the hospital bed with Alexis and was cradling her in his lap. Kate lay beside them on top of the thin linens, holding one of Alexis' hands while her father held the other. Rick brushed Alexis' hair out of her face as he shared some of his memories from her childhood – the time she'd rolled off the couch as a baby, how he'd cried when she first went off to preschool, how much he treasured their family vacations in the Hamptons. He told her he was sorry for what life had done to her, sorry for not being able to help her or make her well again. It was all Kate could do to hold herself together.

A small gasp was the only signal that the final slide away was upon them. Rick clutched her tighter, as if he could will her back to good health if he held her close enough. Tears were streaming down his face nonstop and he made no effort to wipe them away.

"Alexis, we love you," he murmured into her ear. "Dad and Mom love you so, so much. Don't be scared."

"We love you so much Alexis, never forget that," Kate whispered. "Say hello to your Grandma for us. Tell her we miss her and we love her."

Rick gave a short broken laugh. "Tell her not to spoil you too much up there, ok?" And then that pitiful facade fell away, revealing nothing but raw grief underneath. "_Oh God, Alexis. Alexis, don't go Alexis, please!_"

Kate let go, allowing her tears and her cries of pain and loss to mingle with Rick's. She caressed the side of Alexis' face over and over, unable to help herself. Together they watched as Alexis' chest gradually rose and fell less with each breath, and her heartbeats became fewer with each minute that passed. Finally, they stopped altogether, and the machine began to flatline. Kate was sure she would remember that shrill digital wail until her dying day.

. . . . .

A doctor came in a short while later and unplugged Alexis' machines, but neither Kate nor Rick made any attempt to move. They stayed together in Alexis' hospital bed, the three of them, well into the early hours of the morning.

. . . . .

**A/N: So there you have it. If you're wondering why I didn't just have Alexis be in a car accident or something like that, I wanted to test myself and have Alexis suffering from a condition (in this case, ****juvenile variant Huntington's Disease****) which would require research on my part, something that I knew would be harder to write. If I've failed in that, then I still need more practice as a writer. Some of the details of the condition have been tweaked for storyline purposes, so please excuse that creative liberty on my part.**

**Lastly, DNR stands for ****"Do Not Resuscitate."**


	3. Late Night Switch

**Disclaimer: I do not own this show or anything related to it. **

**Notes: No set timeline, future AU of some sort. This is an impromptu drabble as a surprise for Bexi, who was the inspiration with her idea of Castle and Beckett sharing pajamas.**

. . . . .

It was dark when they reached Castle's Hampton beach house. They'd gotten a late start, and Castle's numerous requests to stop along the way hadn't helped. It was only when Kate finally offered to let Castle drive that he shut up and took the driver's seat. The drive to the Hamptons was a long one and she was damned if she was going to let it take longer than necessary because he was behaving like a child.

Then again, given everything that had happened between them in the last few years, Kate knew she should be glad that they were both still able to make the trip at all. Between being trapped in a freezer, being shot at and their other dangerous escapades, they'd had some close calls. They'd been through a hell of a lot together, and in the end it had only brought them closer together. It was an open secret in the precinct that they were more than just partners, but not romantically involved. Perhaps that was why she had agreed to come with Castle to his vacation house, Kate had theorized during the drive over, even if it was only on a subconscious level. But as they pulled up in the dark driveway, Kate knew that no matter what happened that weekend, there'd be no going back now. The fact that she had even agreed to his idea in the first place was a testament to that.

"What... why is the driveway so dark? Where are all the lights?" Castle asked as he pulled Kate's car up to the house. The moon was only a crescent in the sky, and it was hard to see more than a dozen feet in front of them.

"There must be a power outage for this block." Peering out her window, Kate craned her head to try to see their neighbour's houses. "I think it might have affected a few other houses too."

"The house has a back-up generator though. It should have kicked in when the main power shut off."

Kate sighed as she got out of the car and pulled out her bag from the back seat. "Don't know what to tell you Castle. Hopefully the power hasn't been off for too long."

"Yeah." Castle pulled his bag from the other side of the back seat, and after locking the car he joined Kate as they approached his beach house together.

"I don't see any damage or open doors or windows. Doesn't look like anyone's been here since the power went out," Kate summarized as she gave the outside of the house a quick one-over.

"I think you're right." Castle unlocked the front door with his key and pushed it open gently. No alarm broke the silence of the night, confirmed that the backup generator was indeed off and the house had been left unguarded save for one simple lock on the front door.

"Were there any groceries in the fridge?" Kate asked as she slung her back over one shoulder and kicked off her shoes. She loved her heels, but it felt good to take them off sometimes after a long day. She was especially looking forward to walking barefoot in the sand on Castle's private beach. This weekend away from her regular life was badly needed.

"No, I was going to get groceries in the evening, since I figured we'd stop for dinner along the way."

"But then someone decided we had to make ten stops during our drive over-" She quirked an eyebrow at the writer, and he scowled.

Castle scanned the kitchen's interior. "There's snacks in the cupboard if we're hungry, and that can tide us over until morning. I'll get some groceries while I'm grabbing us our coffees."

"Aww that's so sweet Castle," she teased playfully, and she smiled as he ducked his head shyly.

Out of nowhere a yawn overtook her, and she tried to hide it –unsuccessfully- from Castle.

"Tired, dear Detective?"

"A little bit. Putting up with your earlier antics seems to have sapped the last of my energy."

"You're hilarious. Shall I show you the guest bedroom then?"

Beckett started to say something, then bit her tongue as she thought better of it. There'd be time for that conversation later. Right now she was tired and just wanted to fall into bed.

One small problem though.

"Castle? Do you have a flashlight or something? I can barely see where I'm walking."

"Here, give me your hand." Kate reached out and Castle grasped her hand firmly in his as he tugged them towards the stairs. Once upstairs, Castle guided Kate towards the first bedroom on the right. "This one's yours."

Kate reached for the light switch out of habit before reminding herself that the power didn't work. "Thanks Castle. I wish I could see more, but I'm sure it's a beautiful room." She walked towards the bed and dropped her bag on the covers. She could feel Castle's eyes on her back as she dug around in her bag for her pajamas. Her heart froze when she realized something.

"Castle?"

"What's wrong Kate?" He asked with concern.

"I uh... I can't find my pajamas." She coughed. "Castle?"

"Y-Yeah?"

"Can you stop thinking about me naked long enough to find me a spare set of yours that I can borrow for the night? I'll pick up something in town tomorrow when we go to get groceries."

"Oh so you're coming with me now?"

"Castle!"

He gave a short laugh. "Yes I have a spare pair you can use. Hold on and I'll get them for you." He disappeared from the doorway and Kate heard him walk down the hall to his bedroom. Castle returned a couple of minutes later, a bundle of clothes in one hand.

"Here you go Kate." He held them out to her and she accepted.

"Thanks Castle. I'll see you in the morning?"

He flashed her a charming smile. "Bright and early. Good night Kate."

"Good night Castle." He left, shutting the door behind him. And it wasn't until Kate heard his bedroom door shut that she realized Castle had only given her a shirt. No pants.

Castle was pulling his pajama pants on when he heard Kate's surprised cry of annoyance through the wall. He laughed, knowing he was going to be in trouble in the morning, but he hadn't been able to help himself. Teasing his Detective was too much fun sometimes.


	4. Lullaby

**Disclaimer: I don't claim to own Castle or anything from the series. The lyrics at the end of the fic belong to Josh Groban.**

**Notes: This came to me the other day at work. Hormones resulting from hearing a baby cry inspired this little drabble. Please note I have no kids of my own, but I've done research for years on my own, so I hope this is at least somewhat accurate. If it's not, my apologies in advance (and if you decide to correct me, just be gentle please!). **

**AU. Thoughts are NOT in italics, for once. Additional inspiration came from the song "Lullaby" by Josh Groban and Ladysmith Black Mambazo.**

. . . . .

_Rating for this chapter: K_

. . . . .

For once, it was the high pitched shriek emitting from the baby monitor that woke Kate Beckett up from her deep sleep and not a nightmare. She'd had more than her fair share of them in the last couple of years, but she would take being awoken from an exhausted sleep by an infant over waking up from a night terror any day.

Kate rubbed the sleep from her tired eyes as she turned the baby monitor face down on the nightstand and swung her legs out of bed. She grabbed wearily for her robe on the nearby chair, missing it a couple of times before she managed to snag the soft flannel and pull it over her shoulders. She padded out of the bedroom and into the room next to hers. Only a nightlight was on, but it was enough light to see the squalling infant squirming on her back in her crib.

Picking her daughter up, Kate checked for a messy diaper and saw that she was clean. Alright, maybe she was just hungry. Kate sat them both down gently in the rocker in the corner before inserting her feeding cushion under the arm holding her daughter. With her free hand she opened her robe enough to undo the flap on her nursing bra. She held her daughter to her breast, but the infant didn't latch on, continuing to cry instead. Okay so maybe she wasn't hungry either. What could be wrong?

Kate settled her fussing daughter on her shoulder as she re-adjusted her attire and walked them both out to the kitchen. She patted the newborn gently on her back, alternating between that and rubbing in what Kate hoped was a soothing motion. Around and around the kitchen Kate paced, expanding out to the living room a few minutes later as the baby continued to fuss, albeit not quite as loudly as before.

Kate was running out of ideas when a thought occurred to her. Thinking back to one of her favourite songs as a child, she bent her head closer to her daughter's and started to hum a quiet tune. Thankfully, within moments her little one began to calm down, and Kate continued her pacing.

She'd done perhaps a dozen slow laps around the living area of the apartment when she heard the bedroom door open, and a sluggish figure appeared in the office doorway moments later. Kate bit back a smile at seeing how tired he was, so worn out that he hadn't even bothered putting a shirt on before coming out to them. She'd done all the hard work in birthing the little creature she was cradling against her, yes, but Kate knew he'd had to adjust to having an infant in the house again after all these years, and it hadn't been easy change for him either.

"Is she up again?" Rick mumbled as he approached Kate. He bent to give her a quick peck on the lips, then smiled down at the baby in her arms. "What did she want?"

Kate gave a slight shrug, careful to not startle her daughter. _Their__daughter._ "I don't know. She wasn't hungry, and she didn't need to be changed. I was walking with her but she didn't start to quiet down until I started to sing. Well, hum."

Rick smiled despite his exhausted state. "Ah, so she just wanted Mommy. Alexis was like that too when she was this age."

"But Meredith wasn't around much," Kate pointed out. "So what happened when Alexis got fussy and wouldn't sleep?"

Rick held his hands out to Kate, and she gently handed the sleepy baby over to him. Their daughter was small, and in Rick's large hands she seemed even tinier. Rick settled her against his bare chest, and Kate felt her heart melt into a puddle at her feet. Rick could be charming, handsome, and occasionally annoying, but when his focus was centred on their little girl, Kate thought she couldn't possibly love him more.

"Well, Meredith wasn't home long enough after Alexis was born for her to form too deep a bond. She stayed with us long to get her figure back, and then once she got that first job offer after Alexis was born, she left. But even when she was home, I was usually the one getting up with Alexis in the middle of the night when she was still small."

"So there was really no big adjustment to having Daddy instead of Mommy?" Kate asked quietly, squashing down her frustration with Rick's ex-wife. The past was the past, and Alexis had turned out fine. There was no point in getting upset about it now.

"Nope." Rick dropped a soft kiss on their daughter's head, and both parents breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't wake up.

"Have you thought of a name for her yet?" Rick asked Kate, who was stifling a yawn.

She waved him off. "No, not yet. I can't think of something that just... seems right. I don't know."

"What about naming her Johanna, after your mother?"

Kate smiled sadly, feeling her longing for her mother even after all these years. "Maybe as a middle name, but I was thinking of something else for her first name."

Rick nodded. "I understand. Well, she can be Baby Castle until we find the right one." Seeing Kate yawn again, Rick slid an arm behind her and started to guide her back to their bedroom. "We should go back to bed, now that this one is sleeping. You look about as dead as I feel, and in case Baby Castle wakes up in a couple of hours again, one of us needs to be conscious."

Kate nodded sleepily. "Agreed." She let him lead her to the nursery they'd built next door to the master bedroom. It had taken up some of the original office space, and both rooms had had to be redesigned with the addition of the nursery, but now they were all side by side, allowing them quick and easy access to their daughter. The layout had been Rick's idea, and Kate loved it.

Rick gently set their daughter down in her crib, then returned to meet Kate in the hallway. She draped her arms around his neck and gave him a sleepy smile, one which was met with a tender kiss, and then another.

"Hey Rick?" Kate asked as they walked back to their bedroom.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think of this for her name?" As Rick reached behind them to close their bedroom door, Kate stood up on her tiptoes to whisper her suggestion into his ear.

. . . . .

_Hush now baby, don't you cry_

_Rest your wings my butterfly_

_Peace will come to you in time_

_And I will sing this lullaby_

_._

_Know that I must leave, my child_

_That I would stay here by your side_

_And if you wake before I'm gone_

_Remember this sweet lullaby_


	5. Whiskey Shots at 1am

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Castle or anything from the series. I also do not own Lady Antebellum or any of their music.**

**Notes: As someone who has traditionally avoided songfics, I realize I'm making a huge hypocrite out of myself in writing this chapter. So if songfics aren't your thing, you'll want to skip this chapter. Same applies if you don't like high amounts of cheese. _ *cough***

**AU. Takes place sometime after 4x07, but no definite timeline. Kinda a crack!fic, I have no idea. Unbeta'd, sorry for any mistakes and OOC-ness.**

**Last note – the new CastleKinksjournal (18+) is up and running on LiveJournal. If you're of age to read M-rated fics, please come and join us! **

. . . . .

_Rating for this chapter: T_

. . . . .

Kate Beckett could hear the screeching of police car sirens as they ripped by on the street outside. She wondered what the rush was for, and which one of her fellow comrades in uniform was responding to the call. Maybe it was a bank robbery, like the one Castle and his mother had gotten caught up in a few weeks ago- Kate shuddered at the thought and tilted her head back to down another shot. Nothing like hard liquor to stop a unsettling train of thought in its tracks.

She'd been at The Old Haunt for a couple of hours now, ever since her shift had finished. Kate had started off with a couple of mixed fruity drinks; it hadn't been long before she'd decided to up her ante and start on the hard stuff.

Quite simply, Kate was lonely. She no longer had someone waiting for her to finish work for the day –he was currently in Haiti on another charity mission- and so she was in no rush to get home. Ryan and Esposito had both stayed late to finish some extra work on the case they were currently working on, but Kate knew they both had their partners waiting for them at home. The thought of her empty apartment twisted the knife of loneliness a little deeper into her heart, and Kate raised her hand to order another shot, determined to forget everything in her life for just one night.

Behind her from a dark corner of the bar, Kate heard the jukebox blaring as someone inserted some money and selected a country hit she remembered from several years prior. She winced as the twang of the guitar started to exacerbate her existing headache, and she downed the shot the bartender had placed in front of her moments earlier. She was definitely going to regret this night in the morning, but for now Kate just wanted everything to go away. The loneliness, the ache in her chest with no known cause – everything could just melt into a blur of hard alcohol and citrus wedges.

Not for the first time, she wished Castle was with her. He'd been with them at the precinct for the first half of the week, before having to leave town for a few days in order to attend some meetings with Gina and the heads of Black Pawn in California. Some sort of a company retreat thing, he'd said. Castle had teased her about getting a break from him for awhile, and Kate had thought she would indeed relish the quiet that came with her shadow being gone; she had never imagined it would feel like this. Kate was finding that she was so used to relying on him for companionship and entertainment that when he was gone, she almost didn't know what to do with herself. They'd tentatively been texting each other back and forth since he'd left a couple of days earlier, but Kate knew he was busy with his meetings and other responsibilities and she didn't want to bother him.

Then again, as she continued to sit at the bar, downing shot after shot of hard liquor and dodging the wary looks she was getting from the bartender, Kate could feel her resolve to not call Castle starting to crumble. The loud music and dim lighting were not working any miracles for her headache either; maybe it would be in her best interests to go home after all, before she did something she might regret.

Cheering erupted in the bar, and Kate clenched her jaw in an attempt to offset the pain splintering through her brain. The bartender saw her reaction and gave her a sympathetic look. "You might want to take off now, the late night karaoke is about to begin. It's only going to get louder from here on out." He wiped the counter near her and palmed her empty shot glasses, moving away to help some other customers when she gave no indication of wanting to order another drink.

"Who the hell sings karaoke this late at night?" Kate grumbled to no one in particular. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and was about to dial the number for a local taxi service when a familiar melody caught her ears. She listened for a few moments in silence, recognizing it as a top 40 hit from the radio that had been popular earlier in the year. Humming the opening melody to herself, Kate was momentarily glad that at least one person in the bar had good taste in music.

. . . . .

On the other side of the country, Richard Castle sat alone in his hotel room, flipping aimlessly through the channels on the cheap TV. His meeting with Gina and the Black Pawn executives had run later than they had all expected, no thanks to the seemingly endless discussion about whether he would be interested in writing another three books since 'Heat Rises' had topped the New York Times' bestseller list. The hours of debating had left him with a headache and a foul mood, and as he switched through station after station of crappy reality shows and infomercials, he tried to figure out how to cheer himself up. Alexis was probably up late studying and he didn't want to interrupt her; he didn't know where his mother was, but he wasn't really in the mood to speak with her at the moment.

Then he had the genius notion of calling his favourite cop, and his night seemed a little brighter already. He'd tease her about her literary alter ego, maybe drop some hints about his next book and see if he could make her laugh with some cheesy jokes. How he loved it when she laughed, when she dropped her guard for a few precious moments and let him see through her tightly wrapped layers.

Castle grabbed his phone off his nightstand and brought up Kate's number. He knew that it was really late back in New York, but he had Kate had texted each other late at night before, so a call should still be ok right? He knew that Josh was out of the picture, and probably out of the country again too. So she'd be free. Yeah she was probably free.

Castle clicked the dial button and brought his phone to his ear.

. . . . .

Kate was just dialing the number for the local taxi service when Castle's ringtone began playing on her phone, and his picture surfaced on her screen. She'd been trying to do the responsible thing, but fate had other ideas apparently. Kate wasn't sure whether she should be happy or worried.

"Hi Castle," Kate answered after a few long moments of ringtone goodness. She liked the ringtone he'd assigned to his number -

"Hi Beckett," Castle answered enthusiastically. Kate thought that the man had far too much energy given how late it was. "Am I interrupting anything?"

Kate closed her eyes and bit her tongue to keep from giving Castle a sarcastic reply. He was in a good mood and even though she had been spending the night getting tanked, being cranky wasn't a good enough reason to ruin his night. "Not at all."

"I can hear music playing in the background. Where are you?"

"At The Old Haunt. It's karaoke night, apparently- Castle you never said anything about starting karaoke nights here. Who the hell does karaoke after midnight?" She demanded.

Castle was taken aback, and Kate regretted her words as an awkward silence settled over them both. Now she'd done it. This was why she should have gone home, before she could down a whole bottle's worth of whiskey and say stupid things she would regret the next day.

"Are you ok Beckett?" Castle finally asked, in a voice so quiet that Kate almost didn't hear him over the racket in the bar.

Kate wasn't sure what to tell him. She could lie and tell him everything was fine, that she'd just had a stressful day at work and she was sorry for taking it out on him. Or she could let her walls crack just enough to let him try to cheer her up.

Then the music playing in the bar caught Kate's attention, and she made up her mind.

"It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now," Kate sang softly into the phone.

"What? Beckett what's going on?"

"I said I wouldn't call, but I lost all control and I need you now." Kate fidgeted with a straw lying on the counter as Castle went silent. Shit, now she'd gone and done it. She should've just kept her mouth shut and told Castle that she was fine. Apologized for yelling at him and hung up, called that damn taxi and gone home-

"And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now," came his answer, and Kate's jaw dropped. No way did Castle know the song currently being murdered by the karaoke enthusiasts behind her. There was only one other alternative she could think of.

"Castle did you google the lyrics just now?"

"Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door. Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before," was the author's slightly off-key reply. So he was singing too. Kate wondered what his excuse was; she could at least blame the alcohol for her uncharacteristic behaviour.

"Hey, that's my line," Kate giggled, and she heard him laugh softly on the other end. So now he knew she'd been drinking, if he put the signs together. If she was lucky maybe he'd chalk her behaviour up to all of the alcohol she'd consumed and not think anything more of it.

"Beckett?"

"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind? For me it happens all the time," Kate sang along with the amateur pop stars behind her, albeit much more low key. Using the lyrics meant she didn't have to use her own words to tell Castle what was going on inside her head.

"I miss you too, Beckett," Castle murmured as the pieces began to fall into place.

"When are you coming back to New York?" Kate asked as the song finished up. "The boys are missing their partner in crime."

"I should be home the day after tomorrow." He paused. "Do you miss me too Detective?"

"Shut up Castle," Kate grinned, even though she knew he couldn't see her. "I'll see you in a couple of days then."

"Hey Beckett?" Castle blurted as Kate was about to hang up.

"Yes, Castle?"

"I uh, just want to let you know that you can call me or text me any time. You know that right?"

Kate was floored. How he managed to read her mind sometimes just amazed her. She hadn't even said anything and he figured it out on his own.

"Yeah, I know." She smiled to herself, feeling better than she had all day. "I'll remember that."

"Day or night, whenever you want. I don't care if I'm in the middle of a meeting. Heck, please go ahead and call me during a meeting. Anything to get out of structuring a work contract with Gina-"

"Castle!" Kate laughed. "I get it. I promise to call or text you every day, if it will make you feel better."

"That should be my line," he joked. "But all right."

"Have a good night, Castle. I should be heading home."

"You ok to get home safe?" He asked her.

Kate figured she would just call the taxi she'd been able to dial earlier. "I'll call a cab."

"Ok. But the next time you want to go out, let me know and I'll arrange for my private car to pick you up afterwards."

"You don't have to do that," Kate insisted. "A cab is fine."

"We'll see."

Kate sighed deeply, appreciating his concern but wishing that sometimes he would just let her do things her way. "Good night, Castle. See you when you're back in town."

"Good night Beckett."

Kate clicked the phone off, then immediately dialed the number for the taxi service. The alcohol was really starting to hit her hard, and Kate knew from past experiences in college that she was close to passing out, although whether from exhaustion or the alcohol she didn't know. Sliding some money across the counter, she carefully slid off her stool and made her way to the door to wait for her taxi. As she waited, she thought about Castle's call and decided that the next time she wanted to do whiskey shots at one in the morning, she'd bring Castle along with her. Maybe she could even talk him into doing some karaoke with her.

. . . . .

**Thank you to everyone who has read my writing, and a big thank you to those who've taken the time to leave a review or add me/my writing to their favourites or subscription lists. You have no idea how much your support means to me. I wouldn't still be writing without it.**


	6. Caskett, TTC

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Rick or anything from the series, I'm just borrowing a few of the characters. **

**Notes: I have no idea why so much of my inspiration comes while I'm at work. As a cashier at a grocery store. Go figure. As mentioned in chapter 4, I have no kids nor have I ever been pregnant, this chapter just comes from a few conversations with persons who have been TTC, mixed with some online research and a little bit of my own psyche. Information about New York adoption agencies was found online. My apologies in advance if there are any errors, especially with verb tenses. I went through and tried to be consistent, but knowing me I missed a few.**

**AU in a non-specific future timeline.**

. . . . .

_Rating for this chapter: T_

. . . . .

There is a little calendar that sits in the nightstand next to the bed that Kate shares with Rick. Page after page filled with little red slashes, evidence of months of repeated frustrations and dashed hopes. Close to a year is marked off, but some days it feels like much longer.

They've done everything their doctor had suggested when they had initially decided to try for a baby – Kate stopped using her birth control ring, they both improved their nutrition and eating habits, and Kate started taking prenatal vitamins. She even cut back on her daily coffee intake. But as Kate marks off another day on their miniature score card of failure (because that was just what it felt like, even though both Rick and their family doctor had insisted otherwise), she wonders if maybe she wasn't meant to be a parent.

Well that isn't entirely true. They have Alexis, of course. Since their marriage four years earlier, Alexis has started calling Kate "Mom," and Kate feels like she'd been Alexis' mother for far longer than just a few years. But deep inside there is still the urge to have her own child, a baby birthed from her own body. A baby created from her love for her husband and his love for her. She can't explain the want, the _need_ for her own child, it is just there. She goes to work, spends time with her husband and stepdaughter, catches criminals and closes cases, but it is always there. Always present. Tucked into a dark little corner of her heart, waiting for its moment to burst forth in a torrent of relief and joy.

Sometimes the ache in her chest is so bad that when she is alone in their apartment, she curls into a ball on their bed and weeps until it eases. When Rick comes home, he looks at her puffy eyes suspiciously, but he never once asks about what happens when she is by herself during those times. Kate suspects he doesn't want to know; she knows he is hurting too. Or maybe he knows and wants to respect her privacy. Maybe he doesn't know how to approach the topic. Regardless of his reasons, Kate doesn't want him to ask. Some things are better left in the dark, like the little calendar tucked into the nightstand, hidden away like it's something to be ashamed about.

. . . . .

After another six months of trying, Kate is ready to give up. She knows Rick is perilously close to forgoing being a father again too; she can see the weariness in his eyes, see the stress written all over his face despite his attempts to hide it behind a mask of humour and playfulness. At the precinct he pretends he is still Richard Castle, NYPD consultant, but at home it all falls away. Kate knows she is much the same.

And if she's honest with herself, really honest, she is tired of sex being reduced to its mechanical basics. They both are. They're tried many different things in the last year-plus in an attempt to keep it fun and sexy, but they've both admitted to each other that it's not the same. Food play, word games, dressing up - none of it has helped. Every month they try to get into the act long enough during those precious few days, and every month they are disappointed when nothing comes of it. Both of them are wondering where the line should be drawn; how much is enough? When does one give up on a dream and just accept what they've been given in life?

And oh the appointments. There have been many more doctors' appointments, for both of them. Kate has struggled to fit hers in around her work schedule, but somehow she has managed. Rick has had an easier time because of his lax schedule (minus his writing deadlines when Gina is on his back), and has been given the all-clear by the specialist he went to see regarding his sperm count. Kate remembers how relieved they both had been to hear the positive news, but she especially remembers how happy Rick had been to know that despite his age, he still had the potential to have another child. Kate has been to a couple of fertility specialists as well, and having also been cleared to continue to try to get pregnant, their doctor has tentatively suggested that maybe it is something psychological. Kate is not sure what that means, aside from the problem is apparently hers and not Rick's, and she is not sure whether she wants to face a therapist again. It is something she and Rick are currently discussing late at night when neither of them can sleep. There have been more of those nights than Kate cares to remember.

. . . . .

In the middle of yet another sleepless night several weeks later, the 'a-word' is finally mentioned. _Adoption._At least they'd both get to be parents, Rick rationalizes, even if their child was not biologically theirs. Initially Kate pushes it away vehemently despite Rick's continued prodding. When she calms down and they discuss it further, Kate reluctantly admits that she is open to the concept, but wants to think about it more. Rick offers to make a few phone calls and get them some more information, and Kate accepts. They fall asleep in each other's arms, unsure of how to make their dream come true but determined to get there one way or another.

. . . . .

By the end of the month, Kate has changed her mind and Rick is over the moon. They talk to Martha and Alexis about their decision, both of whom have been supportive of a new addition to their family.

Rick contacts several adoption agencies within New York to review their policies and get more information about the actual process. When they find an agency they both agree with, Rick calls the agency so they can begin their formal application. They have decided to adopt a little girl, no older than four or five. Neither Kate nor Rick have any specific prerequisites for their future child; they are leaving those details up to their chosen adoption organization, who they know will make the right decision for them. Rick has been more than forthcoming with information about their assets and home environment, and Kate hopes that there will be few delays.

But the process takes longer than Kate realizes, even after Rick has explained it to her. There are numerous meetings with the adoption agency, and both Kate and Rick have to complete a homestudy session in order to be vetted for the adoption process. Thankfully they clear it with flying colours, but Kate worries anyways. After the homestudy session is a training program, followed up by more meetings with their appointed caseworker and the adoption agency. But at long last, Kate can see the light at the end of the tunnel; she is more impatient than ever for this next chapter of her life with the Castles to begin.

She knows Rick is just as excited as she is, and that Alexis is looking forward to having a new little sister in the house. Martha has been on several shopping blitzes, helping Kate and Rick prepare for their new arrival while simultaneously exercising her grandparental right to spoil her future grandchild rotten.

. . . . . .

The day they've all been eagerly awaiting finally arrives a little more than two years after she and Rick first began trying to get pregnant. They have found their little girl and have been having supervised visits with the child for more than four months, and now they are going to be allowed to take her home at last. She has been slow to warm up to Rick and Kate, but she is gradually coming out of her shell. Her name is Jessica, and at three years old, she already has the entire Castle household wrapped around her little finger. Kate thinks that she has never been happier.

Rick and Kate must have Jessica with them for three months before the adoption becomes legal, but everyone knows that it's just a formality. From the moment Kate and Rick first laid eyes on her in the photo album at the adoption agency, they knew she would be coming home with them.

Their caseworker comes to visit with the Castles once a week for the first two months after Jessica's arrival, and once every two weeks for the final month of the waiting period. Kate secretly thinks that because they waited four months before taking Jessica home with them, the little girl has adapted better than was perhaps expected. There have been a few minor arguments with the toddler, a few late night fights between Rick and Kate, but as the casework explains it is to be expected. Everyone is adjusting. What is most important is that Jessica's needs are being met, and the caseworker agrees that that is definitely being done. The little girl is blossoming in the Castle household.

. . . . .

At the end of the waiting period, Rick and Kate sign the formal papers in their loft kitchen to make the adoption official. The Castle family's lawyer is present to witness the signing, as are Rick and Kate's caseworker and a representative from the adoption agency. Their lawyer explains that it will be another couple of days before he can get the forms submitted in court, but barring some unforeseen complication, the adoption will be legal by the end of the week.

Later when everyone has cleared out from the loft, leaving the Castles alone to celebrate, Kate can hardly believe that this day –this day!- has finally arrived. Almost two and a half years worth of tears, stress, frustration, heartache and hope have resulted in their beautiful little girl. Kate watches her tear around the loft with Alexis and Rick hot on her heels, and she wonders what she could've done in a past life to be so blessed in this one.

. . . . .

Jessica Castle has been with them for less than a year when Kate starts feeling out of sorts. She's off her game at work, feeling tired and drained, and has less tolerance than usual for Castle's antics at the precinct. He's concerned about her, but she brushes it off as a minor bug and nothing to be worried about. Captain Gates wants her to take a couple of days off to recuperate but Kate insists that she is fine. Why is everyone so worried about her?

It isn't until she has to run to the bathroom at work during lunch one day that she begins to suspect that maybe she _is_sick. There is a flu going around right now, and Kate knows that kids have a natural knack for picking up germs and passing them on to others; maybe Jessica had brought something home from the park playground. Sticking her head into Gates' office, Kate asks if her offer for a couple of sick days was still open, and it is. She leaves to go home to her husband and daughter, but decides to make an appointment with their family doctor for the next day on the drive home.

Castle and Jessica are waiting for her at home. Some days their daughter is in daycare, but that day she is having a fort day at home with her daddy. Kate walks in on them giggling together under the couch cushions, which have been set up like walls in the living room, and an old set of sheets hides them from view. Castle sticks his head out when he hears her arrive home, and Kate tells him about her appointment. He smiles and thanks her for setting it up; he too would rather be safe than sorry. Plus if she really is sick, she might have to avoid Jessica for a few days. Kate and Rick have already been through a few colds with Jessica and they hate seeing her sick.

. . . . .

At the doctor's office, Kate is mildly bored while she waits for her turn. The muzak on the radio is annoying and the bleached white walls do nothing for the imagination. She is thumbing through an old _Women__'__s__Health_ magazine when she hears her name, and she is relieved to be able to leave the waiting room.

Her doctor explains that because of her sometimes "less than desirable" working conditions (looking through dumpsters, yadda yadda), she is going to order a full order of blood work for Kate. She will also use one of the samples to check if Kate is pregnant. Kate scoffs at the idea; she and Rick have been intimate countless times since Jessica came to live with them, but there's no way she can be pregnant. She's on her birth control again, and they almost always use condoms.

Raising her eyebrow but saying nothing, Kate's doctor collects the samples in little vials with a smile and explains that she will be right back. Kate is left to wait once more. At least this patient room has medical diagrams on the wall she can read. The scholar in Kate's brain is happy to have text with substance to absorb while she waits.

The good doctor returns ten minutes later, holding Kate's file in her hand. Kate asks her if everything is normal, and is reassured that everything is fine. The more complicated tests will take two to three days to get results for, but she already has the results for the immediate test.

Kate asks if she just has a cold, expecting that the pregnancy test was negative and that it indicated things were fine. Kate's doctor smiles at her, and says that yes her blood work is normal, but not in the way Kate might assume. When Kate looks confused, her doctor breaks out in laughter and says the three words Kate thought she would never hear.

"Congratulations, you're pregnant."

. . . . .

**Edit:****I****know****this****was****a****little****predictable,****and****I'm****sorry****for****that.****I****wrote****it****this****way****because****I****don't****think****I've****ever****read****a****baby!fic****or****a****kid!fic****where****Kate****had****any****trouble****getting****pregnant.****It's****just****like****Caskett****gets****together****and****ta-da,****they****can****have****kids.****I****wanted****to****show****that****sometimes****it's****not****always****easy****for****every****woman,****that****sometimes****there****are****complications****or****unknown****barriers****preventing****it****from****happening.**

**Also****for****those****who****don't****know,****TTC****"trying****to****conceive".**


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